Who Am I Blog? – Why I’m passionate about seeing the person in front of me

As a Psychotherapist, I’ve had to have my fair share of therapy. Some of it by choice, and some of it because it was a requirement of the course I studied. Given that I studied a 5 year course that enabled me to become accredited with the British Association of Counselling and Psychotherapy (BACP), and then I studied another two years to gain my Masters, that is a lot of therapy I’ve had; and that doesn’t even take into account the therapy I’ve chosen to have in-between those bouts of study. The reason why I am telling you this, is several-fold.

1. I want you to know that I know what it’s like to be a client. Really, at depth.
2. I’ve experienced therapy where the therapist has barely spoken because they were being a ‘blank wall for my projections’. I did not enjoy this form of therapy and chose to leave it – very quickly.
3. I’ve also experienced therapy where the therapist works to a particular model and has tried to squeeze me into that model so that I fit neatly into it.

This is why I do interact with you in the session, but I also listen deeply and actively. I don’t want you to feel as though you are talking to yourself or to a brick wall. If that is exactly what you are looking for, then I’m not the therapist for you. Sorry.

This is also why I will do my utmost to make you feel comfortable and able to talk openly to me. It’s really important that we ‘fit’ and that you feel comfortable enough to open up about your personal life. I will of course keep things you tell me confidential (unless there is risk) but you need to feel totally at ease to be able to open up to your therapist. So, this is really important to me too.

Another reason for telling you all this is that I want to see you the human being in front of me, in your entirety. So, I am not going to squeeze you into a model that I think is the best fit. Instead, I’m going to use a range of models in my thinking to suit you and what you bring. This means that our way of working is flexible and flows organically to suit you and your needs in any given moment. This is why I work holistically and integratively – I integrate a range of models to suit your needs and I take the whole of you into account.

We call this way of working ‘relational’. It is a way of relating to you the person in front of us.

I am passionate about this also because I’ve worked in organisations where people are seen as numbers, cogs in the wheel, or resources. So, I know what it feels like to be dehumanised in this way. It’s horrible, and I have no intention of doing that to anyone else.

I want to see YOU, with your individual identity, your way of seeing the world, your experiences and how you see them. This work is usually about reclaiming parts of you, so why would I not want to see you?