When is a good time to start therapy?
To put it simply there is no right or wrong time to start therapy; it’s very personal to the individual as to when they begin their particular journey. Usually, the best time to start therapy is when you feel that you really want to and when you are ready to make a change in your life. For one person that trigger might be having experienced something traumatic that they can’t cope with, for someone else it might be a growing feeling that has been building for a long time.
How do I know when I need to start therapy?
Reasons to start therapy vary greatly from person to person but some key signs that you might want to consider getting some support are;
- Feelings of overwhelming stress or anxiety causing an inability to cope with day-to-day responsibilities i.e. taking the kids to school, going to work, doing the housework etc
- Mood swings: one day you are sunshine and roses and the next you are so low you can’t bear the thought of getting out of bed
- You don’t want to talk to friends and family about what is concerning you or you don’t have anyone close to you that you can talk to
- You want to make changes i.e. destructive behaviour and/or thought patterns are causing you problems or things in your life are not how you would like them to be
- You have a lot on your plate and it would help to talk things through with an impartial person to try and regain perspective
Do I need therapy?
This is not a question that can be answered by anyone other than yourself. It isn’t for anyone else to determine if you need therapy, the decision must be entirely yours. If someone tells you that you need therapy they are pushing their agenda and may be projecting their thoughts or feelings on to you. If a friend sits you down and suggests that you may benefit from getting some support from a professional and they leave it at that, then they have your best interests at heart. Either way the final decision must always be yours; if it isn’t it is unlikely to be successful and you may end up resenting the person who pushed you into it.
What if I start therapy and I don’t like it?
Therapy isn’t for everyone; some people decide that they want to give it a go but soon realise that it just isn’t for them. This is not a problem. The best thing to do in this situation is to be open and honest with your therapist. If you haven’t formed a good connection with your therapist and want to find someone this is also perfectly acceptable, the single most important aspect of therapy is connecting with the right therapist and any ethical, mental health professional will understand this and do their best to encourage you to find someone who you will have a better fit with.
You may decide that therapy just isn’t for you or isn’t for you at this time but might be something that you come back to later. Whatever your reasons, they are valid and acceptable because this is your journey whatever you are feeling is what is right for you. Whilst connecting with the right therapist is important, so is timing. If you don’t think it is right for you at this moment, don’t close your mind to the possibility that it might be beneficial at a different time in your life.
Do I need to be at rock bottom before I go to therapy?
Your mental health is as important as your physical health and it is important that you look after it every day just as you do your physical health. If you have an injured knee would you keep running on it until it was so damaged that you could no longer walk? No. The same goes for your mental health, if you feel that you would benefit from getting professional support before you are no longer able to manage your day-to-day responsibilities then you are looking after your mental health to not hit rock bottom. Being self-aware, understanding your personal triggers that affect your mental health and having the courage to admit when you need that extra support will all help to maintain your mental wellbeing and could be the difference between hitting rock bottom or dealing with a problem before it spirals out of control.
I am worried about my mental health but I don’t know who I need to speak to
There is a lot of professional jargon that surrounds the mental health industry and this can be daunting. Therapy, talking therapy, counselling, psychotherapy – whatever you feel most comfortable calling it, at the end of the day they all do the same thing – they support you through whatever it is that is causing you concern. The most important aspect of any type of talking therapy is the connection between client and therapist/counsellor/psychotherapist/psychologist. Without this connection it will be very difficult for the journey to be authentic; the client must be able to feel completely comfortable showing their therapist their innermost thoughts and feelings – this is the only way a successful outcome is possible and to affect the change that you are there to make.
I think I need therapy but I am scared people will think I am weak or will treat me differently
There has always been a stigma around mental health but this is slowly being broken down with more and more people, especially celebrities, opening up about their experiences with their own mental health. Most notably Prince Harry, Tyson Fury, Freddie Flintoff, Adele, Lady Gaga and many more have all admitted to struggling at certain times in their lives and seeking help from therapists to support them through it. In an ever-evolving society where mental health is emerging as a front runner as one of the most talked about subjects it is hopefully only a matter of time before the archaic attitudes that once surrounded this topic are fazed out. One positive aspect that we can take away from the brutal experience of Covid 19 is that it is helped propel mental health into the mainstream and something which was once considered a hush-hush subject now brings those who are honest about their struggles a feeling of strength, courage and an ability to make it through even the toughest of situations.
